Surprise
I stop thinking, float motionless, and fix my eyes
on a small blue clump of Pocillopora coral, locking onto the details. While holding
these details, I open my mind to all the light, all the information, hitting my retinas. I
perceive a panorama of tangled beauty limited only by my face mask. With careful
precision, I hold the entire visual image in my awareness and add the sensation of the
water on my skin, the air moving in and out of my lungs, the sounds of the reef below me.
It is a sensory satori, but lasts only a few seconds before the tide of words comes back
in and blocks it out.
A camera can't ever show how truly wonderful and beautiful this
little reef is. Cameras can't record or imagine detail while seeing the whole scene and
can't see the whole scene when focused on the tiny details. And, for a similar reason, a
movie camera can't show the panorama of motion of a reef. If I do time-lapse, the movie
will show the corals growing but the fish will be invisible. If I film the reef at normal
speeds, the fish will look as they do to me now, but the corals, starfish, and echinoderms
will show no motion at all.
I experiment again by floating over a nice little coral grotto with
plenty of live branching corals and a big yellow-green head of Porites. I float
very still, absorb as much information and detail on as broad a view as my mask will
allow. I love doing this. It excites me, makes me feel a rush of pleasure. The little
cells of my retina shout for joy, because the head office is finally paying attention to
all of them. They work hard and send in a dazzling display of life. Oh, I wish I could
photograph what I see, in three dimensions, ultra large format, with variable motion.
Adjustable time lapse. Not a bad idea. Maybe...
The pan-sensory image of the whole coral grotto pops and my eyes
focus automatically on the dead portion of a coral head. Something moved, and my head
automatically swiveled to point my eyes exactly at the slight motion. My focus of
attention snapped from wide to narrow. In one instant, the little dead area of coral was
only part of the whole coral scene and I was not really `aware' of it. But some part of me
knew dead coral rocks don't move and when the expected image of the coral rock in exactly
the same position in the tapestry of life did not recur, when the rock moved, alarm bells
went off and vectored my awareness on the unusual motion. A fine example of the error of
expectations.
Even as I think these thoughts, I have unconsciously moved directly
over the rock and my mind focuses on one question. What moved? I stare at the rock, less
than a meter below me. Nothing. Rocks don't move. Something is there, well camouflaged. I
reach down and wiggle my fingers at the rock. Ah hah! It moves again. I see you now, you
little beauty. You know I do, too.
A
fair-sized octopus, with an arm span of maybe a meter or more, is lying
against the base of the dead coral rock. One arm was up on the side
of the rock and it moved down as I reached towards it. The octopus has
adjusted its skin color and texture to match the gray-brown rock. It
even has little projections like the algae tufting up from the rock.
Perfect camouflage. Octopus can change their skin color and texture
and adjust their bodies quickly to virtually any shape at all. They
are the master magicians of the reef and can vanish instantly with their
magic cloak of invisibility.
I see the eyes, now, their horizontal cat-like slits almost closed.
Wow! Even the iris of the eyes takes on the adaptive coloration.
I turn and swim over to the other side of the coral grotto, slowly,
pretending I did not see anything unusual on the rock. Once away from the octopus I dive
down and pretend to take a shot of the coral. I sneak a glance back across the grotto. The
octopus is gone. Hiding somewhere else. They can see pretty good. It's probably watching
me from somewhere, wondering what I'm up to.
Under a ledge I see the arm of a crown of thorns starfish. I pull
out my dive knife, put down the camera, and worry the poison-spined monster out into the
open with the blade of the knife. I proceed to cut the center disk out. The arms can't
regrow without a portion of the disk. I cut each arm away from the next. Sorry Acanthaster,
but I can't have you eating up my studio.
As I turn to pick up the camera, I look back to where the octopus
was and catch a flicker of motion just behind me. It was the head of the octopus pulling
down into the coral. I smile a little smile. Octopus are very curious. It must be
wondering what I have been doing. I turn, so my back and flippers are towards the octopus,
my body blocking the remains of the crown-of-thorns starfish. I take my camera in my hands
and wait, once and awhile poking at the dead starfish with my dive-knife. I steal a glance
back and there it is, to my right, on top of a coral head, its eyes lifted as high as
possible, the bulbous head down flat on the rock, trying to see what I'm doing. I slide
over to block its view and wait some more.

After a few minutes, I steal another look. It's closer now, circling
to my right for a better view. I ease over to block the sight line and poke energetically
at the dead starfish. In a few moments, Octopus, overcome with curiosity, raises its head
over a small dead coral only inches to my right. I turn my head slightly to get a better
view. Slitted Octopus eyes shift from me to the dead starfish and back to me.
What a weird sensation. The octopus is looking right into my eyes.
We are frozen for a moment, measuring each other. "Hi," I say silently,
"pleasant morning, isn't it?" Then I break the staring game and poke at the
starfish again. From the corner of my eye I see him relax. The colors shift from a mottled
red and white through a flickering white into a normal relaxed brown. I can't believe it.
How can it trust me? Of course, it must have seen me every day for the past few weeks.
Twice a day. It knows I have not harmed anything but starfish. I focus my camera and take
a shot of the octopus. It flinches but stays there.
I move on a little ways and stop. Carefully I look back. It has not
moved, sitting relaxed on the coral outcrop, watching me carefully. I swim on and glance
back. The octopus is off the rock, down on the sand investigating the dead starfish. I
turn around to take another photograph and it looks up, lifting flexible eyes high,
instantly alert.

Octopus expected me to move away and keep going. I stopped and
turned and broke the cycle of expectation. The error of expectation.
Our
constant change in relative position
creates error in expected cycles.
When the unexpected happens,
memory fails
awareness awakens
adjusts for survival
adjusts again
always tracking
the error of expectations.
Distortion of expected cycles by constant change
is the error of expectations.
This is awareness.

Another segment of This Magic Sea. I mumble it again and again as I
swim back towards the dinghy. This is important. I have to remember the exact words. The
mind expects cycles and as long as these cycles are completed, it allows them to pass
unnoticed. But nothing, ever, is really a repeating cycle. At some level, nothing ever
returns to the exactly the same condition again. How can it, when the beings on the planet
are all spinning through space at horrendous velocities? The elements coming and going,
each living thing constantly changing.
"Hot Damn!" I jump into Zod and pull up the heavy camera
rig. "Awareness is the error of expectations, the constant change in change.
Awareness is the core of learning, the essence of being, the context for meaning, the
inevitability of self, the difference in direction. Got it. Got it. Got it." I pull
the starter cord for the outboard, haul up the anchor and race back to Moira at top speed.
"How was the garden this morning?" Freddy asks as I come
aboard.
"Fine." Our constant change in relative position
creates error in expected cycles. When the unexpected happens, memory fails, awareness
awakens.
"Ready for breakfast?" She asks as I dry off.
Our constant change in relative position creates error in
expected cycles.
"Toast is ready, babe," she comments a little more
emphatically.
"OK, just got to write something down." I fumble through
the log book and begin to write furiously.
"Come on, it's getting cold."
"Yeah, OK." Remember.. Our constant change in relative
position....
"That can wait until after you eat," She looks at me.
"You're still wet and salty. You'll get the cushion soaked. Come on." She gets
up and drags me into the shower. When the unexpected happens, awareness awakens.
"I found a good definition of awareness." I shower off
quickly. "You know how everything is always changing position, and can never return
to exactly the same position twice."
"Do you want me to reheat your toast?"
"No, it's OK. This is really critical because it threads
through everything, all levels. Doesn't matter if it is an electron or a person or science
or a star. The environment is always changing relative to each being."
"Of course. I'll reheat the coffee anyway." Freddy calls
as I finish rinsing off and grope around the corner for my towel.
"So, anyway, every being, each thing, exists because of its
internal set of relative motions and its external relationship to other aspects of the
environment interacting with it. If events really did go is absolute cycles there would be
no change and life could not exist. But because everything is moving at various speeds on
all levels - starting with the galaxy moving at the square root of the speed of light -
there must be a continual offset of any cycle." I rub dry while Freddy reheats the
coffee.
"Sit down and eat," She says.
"Hey, this is important. An atom of hydrogen is floating along
in space minding its own business, right? Left to itself it will continue along in the
same direction forever. Here comes another hydrogen atom. It happens to smash into the
first atom. There is a change. The two lock together and move off on a new tangent,
behaving slightly differently.
"Now, on the next level, we have a bacterium floating along in
the sea. It expects the next moment to be like the last. But it so happens there is
another bacterium swimming on a collision course. It bumps into the first. This is a
change in the expectations of the first one and it becomes aware of the other bacterium
and changes it's behavior accordingly. Neither the hydrogen atom nor the bacterium could
predict the next moment would bring a change it its future."
"Toast," Freddy says, pointing to my plate. I begin to
spread some cherry jam on the toast. She pours the coffee.
"A scientist is working on a series of tests. The results show
a regular progression, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. The scientist fully expects the next number
result to be 8. But what if it turns out to be 12? Or better yet, what if the next result
is a letter, like M? The scientist gets really excited and changes his behavior. At some
level, every model of the real world is wrong and when the error becomes evident,
awareness comes into existence.
"Do you understand what I'm saying? There is always error in
predictions, from the expected movement of electrons to the expected result of a
scientific experiment, awareness is present at all levels of existence. Awareness is the
error of expectations. The phenomenon of awareness IS the difference between the expected
and the actual."
"Try being aware of the coffee," she says, sipping her's.
"Awareness is more or less complex depending on the perceptual
ability of the individual mind. With electron microscopes and radar telescopes, science
can perceive far more than any other life form and predict events both faster and farther
than any other living being on the planet. But there is still error, still awareness and
excitement when each new, unexpected development happens. And every year, as the sense
preceptors of science become more sophisticated, the unexpected becomes even more
abundant. Awareness is expanding at an accelerating pace." I talk with my mouth full,
and wash the words down with coffee.
"To be, to change, to have direction are the three elements of
reality and they interact to create the error of expectations: awareness. Awareness is the
unpredictability in the interaction of the three elements. YEOWWW! Damn!"
"What? What's wrong?"
"I broke a tooth on a cherry pit."
"The error of expectations?" Freddy grins.
"Yeah," I favor the tooth with my tongue. "And it
hurts like hell. Damn, this is going to be a bitch. A busted tooth in Fiji." |